Part 4- The Three Worlds: Survival, Emotional, and Practical
THE PRACTICAL WORLD
(PW)
As in the previous posts on The Three Worlds, here are the Axioms that apply to the PW:
This is a “fix-it” World.
This is a quid pro quo World.
This World is fact, data and schedule driven.
As the name implies, this is the world where we carry out the practical aspects of our lives. By its nature, it is very concrete. Accomplishments can be measured and duties can be discharged. In the PW, we are able to fix things. It can be anything from repairing a broken board on our front porch to putting a person on the moon. It is quid pro quo: you do something for me and I will compensate you in some manner. Facts and data are the heart of this world. The PW may or may not be attended with some emotion, but that is extra and apart from its nature.
Of the three worlds, the majority of us have passable expertise in the PW. Very few of us know how to drive an ambulance expertly or perform heart surgery. All of us had to take a test in order to be able to legally drive a car, but other than a blood test none of us had to pass a proficiency exam to be married, have children or engage in intimate friendship. If we are holding down a job, making rent or house payments and paying our taxes, we possess measurable proficiency in the PW.
Those are just the basic requirements. Obviously, lots of people go far up into the upper atmosphere of the PW in academics, science, parenting, finance, car maintenance, piano restoration, or culinary skills. It is a world where one can be a recognized expert in a given area.
This is the World of achievement. We derive a great deal of our self-esteem from our achievements and rightly so. It is good to be accomplished and to feel proficient. While there are notable people who have self-educated themselves in the PW, it is usual and expected to be instructed so as to achieve greater ability and expertise in this World. People seek mentoring in this world to improve performance.
Progress in this World is measurable with designations such as beginner, intermediate, and expert. A beginner in the area of mathematics or woodworking would never assume to be able to teach skills at an expert level in these areas. There are exams to pass, degrees to obtain, licenses for which to qualify, and hours to fulfill. There is a saying: “To be proficient at a particular skill one must perform it for at least 10,000 hours.” Most people would not argue with the concept that experience, especially supervised experience is a necessity.
This is a World that requires focused rigor and determination. It is also a world that is greatly aided by a capacity to endure boredom to reach a goal.
Just as the SW is urgency driven and the EW is emotionally driven, the PW is factually driven. The PW can in moments of crisis be urgent such as when the pipes break and the house is being flooded. But in the main, this World works best on a schedule and performance is best during working hours when fatigue is not an issue. Ideally it has a beginning and an end. Tasks are completed, goals are met and the workday ends.
Facts are the most defining aspect of the PW along with numbers and measurable outcomes. Something is either finished or not finished. Something is done poorly, very well, or excellently. This is not just in the eye of the beholder, but is provable. Facts define what is true and when new facts are uncovered the belief about truth changes. Science is a paramount example of the PW. As the famous physicist Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson said, “The good thing about science is that it is true whether you believe it or not.”
In its essence the PW is unemotional, unsentimental, and non-affectionate. It is matter-of-fact. The PW can draw a few people or thousands together in common purpose toward a goal. The glue that holds these people together is not friendship or choice, but a common dedication or a common need (e.g. for paying work). Working in these circumstances, people can be polite and thoughtful or they can be crude and dominant. The PW can operate in a civil or a toxic atmosphere.
There is no argument that it is preferable to participate in the PW where the atmosphere is affable, supportive, fair-minded, and life affirming. Henry Ford produced a lot of automobiles in the early days of industrialization using successfully the innovation of the production line, but few would advocate returning to theory X as a management style. The point is the cars (all black) got produced. The PW is geared toward the creation of a product and that product is measurable and quantifiable. Statistics is at the heart of this World and one of its most effective tools.
Also, at the heart of this World are the questions, “How much?” “How long?” and “How many?” This is a World of measurement where reality is measured in numbers and time is segmented and scheduled. It is a World of applied formulas with expected and predictable outcomes. You may have noticed how often the word “measurement” has appeared so far in this paper.
TWO PITFALLS OF THE PW:
Expectation and Temptation
Expectation. There is truth to the old saying, “No achievements, then no self-esteem.” The PW fills so many of our needs: meaning, significance, recognition, approval, mastery, productiveness, team ship, and belonging, proficiency, competition, and providing, as well as achievement. It is where lots of us feel most at home. And, why wouldn’t we? We have had extensive training in this World. Feeling competent is a great help to our self-esteem.
There is a high positive ratio of effort to outcome. We are able to exert control in many areas and this control allows us to maximize our chances of receiving approval (often in the form of money) and recognition. We are able to garner respect. Respect, recognition, and approval are great aids to self-esteem. We find out we can get back up after a set back and most of us are able to learn from our mistakes making us even better and more confident.
However, there is a significant problem connected to self-esteem that is too tightly based on outcome. We can have great influence but ultimately we are not in control of outcome. If our sense of self-esteem looks like the stock market index going up and down, that is perilous for us. Our self-esteem needs to be grounded on qualities within ourselves that don’t fluctuate. Then, we can have good days and bad days but our self-esteem can remain a constant if it rests upon our character, our self-knowledge, our intentions, our gifts, and the direction of our lives.
However, it does not seem strange to many that self-esteem might go up or fall depending on performance and outcome. Make no mistake it is better to have a good day as opposed to a bad one; to get a raise rather than to be fired. However, our self-esteem needs to be able to handle the predictable and unpredictable hardships of life. When it does not rest on such a base, then the next best thing is a string of unbroken victories and ever increasing achievement. This is a great problem since it is impossible.
William James put forth this equation:
Achievements
Self-Esteem = ----------------------
Expectations
Dr. Friedman (Treating Type A Behavior and Your Heart) quoted one of his Type A participants, “Our trouble is that our ratio of achievements over expectations always seems to be less than one.” That observation is correct. If expectation is greater than the achievement, no matter how great or significant in the eyes of other people, then the achievement will not add to a person’s self-esteem.
The distortion created by expectations robs people of the satisfaction of their achievements, hence cancelling out their vital role in sustaining self-esteem. Because the achievement has been discounted it is not stored in the memory bank as sustainable evidence of competence. What gets stored are memories of failure or the discounts of victories, thus robbing a person of the greatest asset the PW has to offer.
Temptation. Very simply put, the temptation is to use the skills and words and the concepts of the PW when the EW is present. This makes intuitive sense. If there is a conflict, isn’t the best way to settle it is with a faithful rendering of the facts? In the PW, the answer is yes. In the EW, such an approach is ill advised and destined for failure. Why?
The EW is a process World. It is not a World of final conclusions. It makes no sense to say to someone, “Why do you feel the way you do. The facts don’t support it.” Facts are everything in the PW. But they can feel like an affront or a discount of one’s experience when used during EW time. To repeat, the EW is about feelings and the goal of sharing of them in a warm atmosphere of acceptance. The PW is about getting things done in the most efficient way. Efficiency is a foreign concept in the EW.
It is important to remember that the voice tone (matter of fact or instructive), facial expression (neutral or evaluative), body language (calculated or unrevealing), and word choice (logical and precise) are congruent with the business-like nature of the PW. If these same modalities are used in the presence of the EW one will sound, look, and feel cold and/or judgmental, even critical and angry to those present. This may not be the conscious intention of the speaker. It is just what happens when one individual is vulnerable and the other person is matter-of-fact. It will feel cold, even hostile.
The SW requires immediate recognition and immediate action because it is an action World where there will be an outcome of some sort. The EW is satisfied by recognition of its appearance and affirmation that a loved one is in that World. This may be in response to either “good” feelings or “bad” ones. Both are equally stimulating and require being comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The PW works best during business hours and by being deliberate and fact based. It is nearly impossible to comfort someone or to celebrate with that person by being deliberate and fact based. The facts might be right but they produce no warmth and the EW always needs warmth, especially in conflict situations.
Here are the guidelines for being effective in the PW:
One needs to set goals and to create concrete plans to carry them out because future predictability is vital.
One needs to allow facts and data to be the guide because success is the goal.
One needs to stay focused on priorities in spite of boredom, distraction or discouragement because completion is paramount.
I will describe in my next blog the issues of recognition and switching: recognizing which World is in the room and how to make the appropriate transition into the language and modality of that World. Remember, what satisfies one World cannot satisfy another.